Back In Time

2011-12-23T22:07:00.001+08:00

i was so looking forward to it

2011-11-25T22:16:00.001+08:00

I need some time for myself after As, to sort out all the things that popped up during this period

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2011-11-25T22:12:00.001+08:00

To be honest I don't know why I am so insecure about myself

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2011-11-20T01:54:00.001+08:00

respect is self earned

2011-11-18T03:27:00.000+08:00

why cant I be (or at least seem) as confident as you

-apologies come in the form of action-

2011-11-13T14:36:00.005+08:00

never have I thought of intentionally hurting you with those words. But I did. Lesson learnt: better anger and stress management control

You know what, I am really grateful to you for all those things you've done and endured, big or small. Thanks, my friend (:

-edit: I will always remember that voice, I knew I had truly hurt you-

whatever happened, it happened.

2011-11-09T19:50:00.000+08:00

Never give up on yourself, yunfei.

bio was bad

2011-11-09T18:04:00.002+08:00

at least I have put in my all. No regrets.. hopefully

Acceptance

2011-11-05T04:34:00.003+08:00

For weeks now I have been wishing that i could be a different person, someone that is perfect in studies... it killed me inside, literally... and my friends around me too. I guess A levels turned into a very major part of my life and Im not exactly prepared for it.

Typing this at 4.35am after going through another inferiority complex isnt a fun thing to do. But this post shall serve as a reminder for me that no one is perfect and molding myself to be that idealistic me isnt gonna be possible in a month's time. Perhaps its time to accept my own flaws and move on with life.

Whatever the results may be, I shall not be depressed.
-peace.. finally-

2011-10-20T22:48:00.001+08:00

I just feel noob... Can't take failures well, double fail...

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How many of this can I take

2011-10-20T17:59:00.001+08:00

I can't change my mindset... We are bred to be competitive... And to be honest I haven't been getting success since p6.. Life has just been a downhill since then... Or maybe cos I'm a an environment of the top... But I'm just not good enough...

It's like... A millionaire who lost his assets in a night and has to life on begging

I wonder if my limit is near... Just sad to know that I will have to work so hard, fighting against the bottleneck of my ability

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The pain of my pathetic memory

2011-10-14T17:43:00.001+08:00

What else can I do... Not fighting, just living through As

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2011-10-10T21:07:00.002+08:00

I thought, I could finish the syllabus for prelims.. and spam do questions for A level preparation.. sounds like a good plan. Until my memory fucked it up..

2011-10-03T23:32:00.001+08:00

i failed.. as a best friend to be there for you.. instead I pushed you down the slope,,,

2011-10-03T23:05:00.001+08:00

of all the days to fuck up, I chose today... its a thousand times worse than any other day..

Why is it that we only realise our mistakes after the damage has been done

2011-10-03T22:50:00.001+08:00

It's coming back to haunt me again... I realise I didn't change a bit since 2yrs ago..

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Does hard work really pay off

2011-10-01T19:13:00.002+08:00

...

1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.. will I cross the 99% mark by the time I need it...

2011-09-22T22:05:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder if you really understand how i feel

2011-09-21T23:55:00.002+08:00

Who doesnt want someone who can always be there for you?'
Who doesnt want someone who can keep all your secrets?
Who doesnt want someone who can share your sorrows and happiness with?
Who doesnt want someone who can go wherever you want to go?

Saw this on a friend's blog and I'm glad to know that I have someone like this in my life <3

to my bestie

2011-09-06T20:42:00.002+08:00

There is one girl in my life
That makes me love again
As pretty as a girl could be
So beautiful.
Every morning she makes me a cup of coffee
with a smile on her face
I’m a man in love
and she’s glorious

There is one girl in my life
That makes me love again
As pretty as a girl could be so beautiful.
Every morning I wake up and I think of you
with a smile on my face
I’m a man in love
And she’s glorious

Oh baby I want you to stay in my life
Never say goodbye even if you cry
I’m still by your side
Oh baby I want you to stay in my life
Never say goodbye even if you cry
I’m still by your side

There is one girl in my life
That makes me love again
As pretty as a girl could be ..
So beautiful.
Every morning she makes me a cup of coffee
with a smile on her face
I’m a man in love
And she glorious

There is one girl in my life
That makes me love again
As pretty as a girl could be so beautiful.
Every morning I wake up and I think of you
with a smile on my face
I’m a man in love
And she’s glorious

Every morning I wake up and I think of you
with a smile on my face
I’m a man in love .. and she’s glorious

Every morning!

(: best girl I've ever had (: seriously i don't have to care about anything, just be myself ^.^ STOP MAKING ME SO SHAGGED :P though i love it xD

jiayou for prelims yea? :D lets mug hard and own prelim's ass up side down!!!

It is, afterall my own decision

2011-09-05T02:52:00.001+08:00

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Feeling quite demoralised

2011-09-04T09:47:00.001+08:00

Fighting.... :x sometimes I just wanna enjoy life with the ones closest to me (:
These few days of de-stress was really enjoyable, the feeling of letting lose and not being judged xD

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2011-09-01T20:24:00.001+08:00

didnt really start off well ... must must read the question more carefully.

The feeling that you can't rmb a single thing...

2011-08-31T21:54:00.001+08:00

When you have memorised the same term for the 5th time in 3 days... Spending at least 10mins per time..

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"all of you have aptitude, it boils down to whether you have the right attitude"

2011-08-26T00:07:00.001+08:00

Fighting...

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Emotional rollercoster

2011-08-23T22:52:00.001+08:00

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It's a matter of perspectives

2011-08-20T21:51:00.001+08:00

Frankly speaking there are very little rights and wrongs... Especially with regards to humanity or interactions with each other.

Most of the times its just a matter of perspectives, just read an article that was interesting. It says of how we want to be right all the time and think the other person is wrong. That's why we argue. During an argument we point out why the other person is wrong and we are right,. In contrast we rarely, if not never, argue in a way to say that our opinions are wrong.

As a matter of desperation we will either withdraw from the argument or make blatant accusations that put each other down, or accusing that the other party think they are always right (such an irony)

Humans are a contradictory species.. OK back to econs :x

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Silent concern

2011-08-16T23:59:00.001+08:00

(: prolly pissed people off again, why can't I just stop pissing people off for a day or so x.x

Anyway jiayou! Didn't handle the situation as well as I should. You can do it (: gambatte

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Guess we can do nothing but to push on

2011-08-16T02:29:00.001+08:00

(: and trust that the effort will pay off..

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2011-08-09T16:23:00.001+08:00

we haven't been talking for a day and it felt like an eternity :X

2011-08-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

just ninja read a friend's blog using my usual method and im worried for her. Hope she will pull through. She did mention some things that were worrying and I hope it isnt what i thought it is.. :X
be strong girl, you can do it...

I love her

2011-08-07T10:45:00.001+08:00

Whole heartedly as my best friend. Haha prolly gonna be blasted by my future gf but i can't imagine a day without my bestie.
Hopefully the both will get along (: people need to start believing that platonic love is truly possible xD you value your friendship too much to try out anything that breaks the current equilibrium.

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19th (:

2011-07-17T18:28:00.001+08:00

Had a blast yesterday xD nothing can express how I've felt. Had loads of fun laughing

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2011-07-15T01:06:00.001+08:00

I shouldn't be guilt tripping her that much, when sometimes it's not her fault at all. I just thought I was always right and she's always in the wrong, more like subconscious bah. Not really subconscious also, maybe it's just my flaw.

Felt bad doing that. Like I'm always on the accusing end. My fault for not understanding her qn and yet I must have sounded irritated by her :x

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Some reflection

2011-07-05T23:56:00.001+08:00

Sometimes we just don't appreciate enough for the stuff that people do for us. Maybe we even took it for granted.
Being in her shoes, i would have felt equally bewildered and pissed. I kinda Turned down her goodwill flat. I had my reasons but should have been more tactful. Still, appreciates what she did even though my actions caused an adverse effect.

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We always thought we'd look back at our tears and laugh, but we never thought we would look back at our laughter and cry

2011-06-14T13:22:00.001+08:00

It's definitely not easy to maintain a strong friendship, there are times when it just seems like we can't bear the other person anymore. Hurtful comments start to flow.

Who isn't without flaws, yet it is the positive traits in the person that triumphed in the end. However, being oblivious to the flaws doesn't mean that we don't know it is there. In fact we know it so well that in the heat of an argument it becomes a joker card which we can use, knowing fully well that we will be able win with it.

Well, that's what I did at least. Caused hurt and feeling of unjust. Always thought that I was a good friend, until recently i've realised that there are quite a number of things I unknowingly did which hurt people around me.

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2011-06-08T14:54:00.001+08:00

你说被火烧过才能出现凤凰
逆风的方向更适合飞翔
我不怕千万人阻挡只怕自己投降
我和我最后的倔强握紧双手绝对不放
下一站是不是天堂就算失望不能绝望
我和我骄傲的倔强我在风中大声的唱
这一次为自己疯狂就这一次我和我的倔强

How to be not pushy but show you that I care

2011-06-07T19:47:00.001+08:00

Lols

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2011-06-02T13:54:00.001+08:00

Always thinking you are right, that's how you are.

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2011-06-01T22:45:00.001+08:00

nice personal attacks, great comeback.

i'm out.

Helpless

2011-05-29T23:01:00.001+08:00

Have you had the feeling of helplessness?
It's worse than the feeling of pain. I could do nothing but to watch you suffer :x

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Fucked up

2011-05-17T17:08:00.003+08:00

If only i can think like a normal person. I dont think I'm the smart kind of abnormal. Just have my own way of thinking that is usually not right. Am i finding excuses for myself?

-feeling dam bad, I didnt try to understand you

2011-05-17T15:48:00.002+08:00

Tired, in a good way. Had chem spa in the afternoon. Its pretty much as expected so hopefully I will score well ^^ yay another 5% into my a levels chem.

On a side note its true that we tend to say stuff that's harsher than necessary when we are angry (:

-Off to nap- btw I want to play bball, draw and go outtttt

-post script: this was a post last Friday, blogger was down

last post before i go :D

2011-05-09T14:09:00.003+08:00

Great to see how much I've grown in the past 4 years, both for the better and for the worse.

sunday, november 11, 2007
10:48 am: cos some memories cant be forgotten
You've smsed
I've thrown away my phone
You r waiting
i am desperately searching through the rubbish dump
You've given up waiting for the reply
I've finally found my phone
You've climbed to the 30th floor
I've read ur msg
You've said ur last words,
I've rushed to that building
You've jumped
And my heart's died...

just some random story plot that jumped right into my mind as i am typing this post. Would have made this into an essay or story if not for the fact that it will never be used.
So stop wasting my time now, and get down to do something....

The past few days have been fun and tiring.
First there is the RISE-RV combined rehearsal for our combined concert on 25 Nov.

-------- Advertisement time ----------
Time...
not sure...
place... forgotten...
Date...
25 Nov 07
Price...
ur life
tickets...
$12 for the stall seats and $15 for the circle seats
Who will be There... you and me

Be sure to come, a night/day of promised musical enjoyment, experience the
"beauty of the earth" - String ensemble and raffles voices, its definitely a
concert not to be missed

-side note: i am just bull shitting

---------Advertisement time ----------

Lol, just advertising for the upcoming concert, gna be a great hit... whatever. Downside of this is that CCA rehearsal everyday from now till 24 Nov, which is going to eat up a lot of my time...

Then had class chalet on Friday/saturday. Didnt go for the thurs one. Heard that it was also very fun, 20 guys squeezing into a small room in east coast. Can imagine the situation there.
Ok, so went straight to East Coast on friday after my cca. The room was like, filled with cookie crumbs and potato chips. Its like everyone just dumping things here and there.
Thanks Sam Swee for clearing up the room while we were having our dinner. When we got back from dinner, the room was much cleaner and brighter. All thanks to Swee and Ji Heng.

Rented some DVDs to watch in the night, cant expect us to go chalet just to sleep right? "The Wig" was seriously boring and we decided to quit watching just after 10 mins. By then some of the guys were seriously bored and sianed.
Then watched "Dorm", which was supposed to be NC16 and so more scary. Turned out to be just a boy-ghost friendship, nothing really exciting to keep us awake. The storyline's ok though...
Finally watched "Ju-on: the grudge". finally a better movie to keep us awake through the night. Finished watching and there's only 4 of us awake.... then played a few rounds of NFS Carbon before we finally slept. It was like, 5 in the morning...

And my phone bill's bursting... ok that was random...
sian na, cca's gonna choke up all my time in November. Just hope that the concert would turn out to be a success...
with 0 comments
monday, november 5, 2007
11:46 am: the class spirit still burns
Been too busy to blog after the start of hols.

Hey Shit, I dont wanna reject again. Its bad enough to hurt one... fck this is just so totally random. Thinking of a way to settle this properly and not like the last one.

sry about that, it just came too suddenly. I must really cut down on my swear words, been spamming it too often now. Everything sudden will follow by a swear, must really have more self-control.

Friday
It all ended with a bang, the sec 2 journey is over. But the beautiful memories will remain. Thanks all, for making it so memoriable. Remember the Malaysian Montage during the June Holidays? Its been real fun, getting to know new friends and strengthening our class spirit. It may sound cliche, but then its true... Its been a fun time with you guys, 2C - the class that rocked and pwned others. True, as what was in the 2C Story Video, we didnt get the top for interclass soccer or anyothers, but we've topped the level for the best class, definitely.

Saturday
Nothing much, started watching the anime Final Fantasy Unlimited since i've got nothing to do. Dont feel like mapling or Gunz-ing. And i really hope CabalSEA and GrandchaseSEA would come out soon, as what they've promised. Then can have some fun playing. Both games look quite nice to play, from the trailers and from some other friends.

Then got a call from Tony, so went his house to have BBQ. And played around for sometime...
Was quite crazy, played his PSP for a while.

Haiz, nothing much happened man... and i should start on my hols hw soon, then after that can truely relax

I'm on a blog roll

2011-05-09T13:58:00.000+08:00

Just being nostalgic (:

saturday, september 29, 2007
10:05 pm: as i lay on my bed
i saw the basketball in the corner, untouched for at least 3 weeks.
i saw the drawn curtains, destined me to a room of darkness.
i saw the forever on table lamp, on my dreams the malicious creature feeds.
i saw within my room the emptiness ...

i saw the wardrobe that is full of clothes, and all of them unworn,
i saw the pile of worksheets that are undone,
i saw the clock hand that points past midnight, and all the lights outside were gone
i saw the me who had not any fun.

As i walked out of the room of doom,

i saw my cello case standing there, with bits of dusts settling on it
having not touched it since exam break, i am sorry for what I've not done
i saw the schoolbag that i longed to kick
These days why can't i do the things i want.

i saw the msn chat windows that are left open
When my only response was , "uhhuh, sry busy now, nxt time then chat"
i saw the various things i've yet to learn
And the gone chances of getting wet.

What are all these sacrifices for?
living in a world of bore
Am i just brainwashed that this is the only place i could be,
or is it just my destiny?

I have bowed down to my fate
to use my enjoyment as the bait
in exchange for the final grade
in which everything shall be made
worthwhile of the lifeless me
and the final pride that i will be eventually be

----END----

lol, this would be probably the last time i will be posting until after the EOYs. So shall end this journey briefly with this poorly / hastily written poem. (is it even one?)..*most of the things written in it are true.* but i choose to write this poem with a one sided view. i'm not that no-life anyway.

Haiz, another long night.... Maybe i should just chuck my lappy into some random place and only look for it after the EOYs, hmm... its such a nice idea.
I am really sorry to those i've neglected or going to during this period cos i really could control myself once i start it.... will be back to normal after the EOYs...

--Gone--

old memories :D

2011-05-09T13:45:00.002+08:00

Found this when i was going through my archives, glad that i can rmb all the people mentioned here, except one or two. Guess its time to catch up after my A's.

saturday, september 27, 2008
5:20 pm: some random quiz found on ben's blog
TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now, but don't mention names:

1. Its fate, or isnt it? Although others may not approve, it doesnt matter either way. I guess we need more time to get to know each other's character. Its the link that we share that brought us together, and let's see where the chain will bring us in the near future.

2. Bro, its been a long time since we've chat. Hope you are doing well with studies. Heard from your mom that you have improved, which is good. Keep up the good work, and oh right, try not to be so flirty in the future. See you real soon after the exams, and all the late night stayovers and real stupid stuffs that we used to do.

3. I guess both of us have gotten over it and moving on with our lives. Im so sorry for the hurt that i have caused you, it was done unintentionally and it was too late when i realised it. The past few months were really the most awkward of all, but im glad we are on talking terms again and you have found your love again. just remember that if you need help or anything, im always there to lend a helping hand. Those times were great memories that will never diminish.

4. Sometimes i just feel that you are way too emo. Try viewing life in a positive way, i know losing a great friend, esp one that is so close to you, is really something of a big blow. i understand your feelings but your parents / friends need you here. The loss isnt something you can overcome in such a short span of time, but just try to move on with life yea? Something that im leaving you with, "theres always that dot of light even in the darkest of times. If you persevere and walk towards it, that tiny dot will expand to be all around you."

5. Hey, its been 1 yr since we met? still rmb how we got to know each other? i didnt know what life's in store for me then. sent you a smile on friendster asking if you could be my friend just to view your profile. looking back, it was kinda stupid, but i guess its a good thing that i did that :D if not i wouldn't have gotten to know such a great friend like you. All the best for your upcoming PSLE. meet ya sometime after the exams, k?

6. Hey, thanks for being there when the rest aren't. You are the one who stuck with me no matter what i've done. Heres a big THANKYOU. meet ya after the EOYs, i've still got scores that are not settled with you yet, on the bball court. Oh, and it was a pleasure to work with you through all those projects, things are way more lighthearted and lively with you around. and dont take the PET rocket thing to heart, its because we are ill-prepared.

7. Met you online and was kinda surprised when you called me from canada. i mean, who would call someone they just knew on the net mins ago, esp when its international call :P. Anyways im glad to get to know such a great friend like you, all the late staying up in the night due to timezone diff and stuff. and you still sound like a kid even though you are 16, esp when you called mama :D. awaits your trip back to singapore next yr, remember to call on me okay?

8. Yet another great friend met on the net. Cant remember exactly how we met, but remembers you trying to bring the couple together. and dont flirt with jesse too much :D And you were just laughing all the time last time, didnt really get to hear your voice much. im calling you soon, dont worry. Ohh ya, sry for forgetting your birthday that time, but i made it up eventually, just on time :)

9. You Still Owe Me 20 Bucks, anime fan. paiseh was away in Tioman when you went for the cosplay thing. next time im coming okay?

10. Didnt speak to you for, idk quite a long time, 3 yrs? Although we passed by each other from time to time, we didnt have time to stop and catch up on times. Still remember all those crazy things we've done when we were kids back in pri sch? it would be fun to do them again, although i am not sure if its possible anymore.

NINE things about yourself:

1. I'm 口直心快, words shoot out of my mouth before i could think through first. So if i offended anyone, sorry :D
2. I'm trustworthy, well kinda. The thought of betraying someone will never appear in my mind.
3. I slack too much, setting goals for myself and never fulfulling them. Not determined enough.
4. I'm friendly, cheerful (although last yr my classmates would call me emo guy, idk why -.-) and i would make a great peer :D
5. I'm a jack of all trades, know a little of this, know a little of that, never proficient in most of the things i do.
6. I love basketball, but arent pro in it. Just an amateur and enthuasist. But im not noob at it either.
7. I can't sing for nuts
8. I lacks self control, seeing i am doing this when EOY's looming ahead. So near
9. I procrastinate

EIGHT ways to win my heart

1. Don't make an ass of yourself trying to impress me
2. Friendly and talkable
3. Always there to be a listening ear
4. Tell me where i've done wrong instead of putting up with it unwillingly
5. Respect for you yourself and me
6. There's nothing better than being truthful
7. Come to me when you need help
8. Just Be Yourself

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

1. Why dont i do this later?
2. Whats happening between us?
3. Why cant i get this problem right?
4. Things that have happened in the past
5. Song lyrics
6. Sound of a silent shot, basketball (FTW)
7. You

SIX things you do before you fall asleep:

1. check my handphone for smses.
2. Goes on msn and start spamming everyone gd night messages
3. Think about things that has happened
4. Set some unrealistic goals that i will never accomplish
5. Makes my bed fit for sleeping, which involves messing up everything
6. Checks for my alarm

FIVE people who mean a lot:

One, Two, Three, FOur, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, And All Of YOu
Each and everyone of you mean a lot to me :D

FOUR things you're wearing right now:
1. Sleeveless Shirt
2. Shorts
3. What else can you wear
4. What else can you wear

THREE songs that you listen to often:
1. Fall for You - Secondhand Serenade
2. Angels in the Night - Basshunter
3. 不夠成熟 2Young - By2

TWO things you want to do before you die:
1. Find Death First Before Death Finds Me
2. Thank all those ppl who have made a difference in my life and leave behind a legacy of my own

ONE confession:
1. Aishitaru

2011-05-09T13:41:00.001+08:00

Sec2: I think i look cute then... what happened to me now...

I'm back to my usual self, I hope

2011-05-07T00:50:00.001+08:00

Past few weeks been really stressful and things just piled up. Learnt that life's gonna go on anyway, the destressing session (aka bloating stomach) today really helped a lot. Realised that life can still be as carefree as ever. Hope hz felt the same too, know she hit some rough patches today.

Feeling pretty paiseh towards my friends, who have endured this period of my "1 month pms". And about another thing, prolly its cos of past experience that I felt particularly afraid of that. Read the individual's blog and realised that things are different from what it seemed.

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realised some of my personal flaws

2011-05-05T20:27:00.001+08:00

Shall tone it down in the future (:

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guilty

2011-05-05T07:05:00.001+08:00

Shouldn't have done that,some of the posts were emotionally filled

-lessons learnt, don't do stuff when ur agitated because u will regret it -

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this shall be a happy post (:

2011-05-05T01:03:00.001+08:00

Ok, let's see, what's there to be happy about? Quite a lot actually, some of them may seem small but they brought colours into my life.

Starting from the morning, maths was not really that smooth. I realised that I don't have the formula on my fingertips. Well, I didn't really revise maths after tuition so its my fault anyway. As much as I always use my memory as an excuse, I really hope I can start memorizing stuff better. (Weird thing is I can rmb all the retarded stuff that my friends did a few years ago)

Then was pe, didn't go cos I wasn't feeling very energetic. I had an interesting talk with hz in the meantime. Yeap we have our different values but it was surprisingly smooth, guess things are moving well here aren't they? Really glad its this way, intellectual conversations have their meaning too. We talked about the upcoming elections and the education system here.

Then was the study session. Ok I admit I was kinda possessive here. I know all the reasons and I actually don't mind. I guess when you are closer you would be more selfish I guess?

Then came bio and Chem, nothing much happened here. After that we went to library to mug again. Met john yu and takwei, the two funny guys. I had fun watching john suanning Hz (evil grins), it ain't everyday that Hz gets suanned.

Entre was fun (: last farewell session. Pizzas (Y)... the talk cock session with the gang was fun too ^^ M.Y. reared again and Y.W. found out that she can use the floor to help her get up from seating for the ffirst time in 18yrs ^^ epic

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2011-05-04T16:11:00.001+08:00

Tell me straight if you have a problem with me, once you are out of my life you're out. Cos I know I have tried my best, if I wasn't up to your mark, inform me and I'll see what I can do.

You've decided to walk into my life and we've had fun. First time you walk out I'm gonna chase after you. Second time I still will. One time too many I'll just move on. The door's still open for you to come back though, its never locked

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I need 48hrs a day

2011-05-04T01:03:00.001+08:00

I need time for study, play and relaxation. I used to be able to juggle between all three a few years back.

Frankly speaking I miss the secondary school days, not forgetting all the awesome guys of 4H. There was never a day without laugher and things were smooth as silk.

As the saying goes time and tide wait for no man, shall not dwell too much on it.

Tomorrow, actually today is the handover ceremony. Like what duxuan said, we are leaving it in good hands. This is a strong batch, and I'm sure they will achieve great heights. I'm still having some doubts about our choices in the candidates for exco, but what's life without risks? Well, the club played a part in the voting of the exco, so we should place our trust in them and see how things go shouldn't we?

This year has been a tough year for me. Its funny how I sound like I'm making a reflection of the whole year when it is only half past. I've lost several things that are close to me, hope I'll find them back at the end of the day, in their original conditions.

-I need to sleep-

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how does it feel

2011-05-03T22:44:00.001+08:00

To never know your identity?

Too many a times I've depended my happiness on other people's happiness. Up till a point where it just can't continue. Yet as I turn the focus back to myself, I offend those around me.

Who the heck am I.

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2011-05-03T00:10:00.001+08:00

Peace

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2011-05-02T22:58:00.001+08:00

Like always

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mental resilience

2011-05-01T22:02:00.001+08:00

I will finish this set of notes tonight. Been telling myself that every 5min or so. My attention span is drifting

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Strangers, again

2011-04-22T19:12:00.000+08:00

Even though this isnt a relationship,
I guess we're somewhere at stage 4, touching stage 5 at times. I wonder if you will read this, but lets not go down that path. Like you said friendship should be a place where you can just rest and relax and not have to worry about anything ^_^

j1 batch is enthu

2011-04-20T01:00:00.001+08:00

Compared to my batch. Love our decision to do a selection interview for cca intake this year. It filtered out a lot of the nnot so interested members and what we have are 40 committed members.

Anyway during the interview today I suddenly felt a sense of guilt. Haven't been upholding my post as faithfully as I should. External projects didn't really turn out to be the best thing i've hoped for. Could certainly work on that.

I'm just glad that I wasn't selected as the chair n vicechair. Didn't really have a leadership role before this (not unless you count class treasurer and various small leadership roles). It was an eyeopener for me and there are certainly areas that I need to work on.

the most important would be getting my point across, and how to articulate my words properly. I've been pretty much relying on my confidence on stage to make the presentation good, but I realised that sometimes I would be lost for words and/or go incoherent. Pretty much reflected in my essay writing and communications with friends. sometimes I would use my eccentric brain wiring as an excuse but I know I would need to stop giving myself the slack. What use would it be if no one understands you.

Ok I'm sleepy, more to come next time. -I need to start working on my gp, it isn't a subject that ccan be trained overnight

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2011-04-17T12:24:00.001+08:00

(: I know your going through some.rough patches now. Couldn't be there, don't wanna add to your burden of having to patch this up while still worrying about that incident.

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tomorrow will be a better day

2011-04-17T00:45:00.001+08:00

Or will it?
Fck why do I have this feeling. Its exactly the same... don't want it to happen again..

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2011-04-16T22:06:00.002+08:00

...

words cant describe what im feeling now. worried? sad? angry? disappointed?

cant believe i stared at the keyboard for 5 mins thinking of what to say.

hope the bond is thick enough to withstand the erosion until the storm is past

I should have kept my cool

2011-04-16T19:10:00.001+08:00

But that was over my threshold. Can't be always the one that's accepting tthe blame.
What you did I appreciate, but its what you said that really killed it.

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2011-04-05T17:30:00.001+08:00

What happened to the promise I made to myself... I must keep up to it. Don't wanna regret

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2011-04-05T17:22:00.001+08:00

Control (:
*note to self* finding an appropriate time to raise it up is better than using it to justify an argument. I blew my top at her again ):

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2011-04-02T21:07:00.001+08:00

hurt

2011-04-02T20:35:00.001+08:00

Fucking hell

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2011-03-31T23:34:00.001+08:00

I salute all females for all the sht u have to go through, including the monthlies and childbirth. As well as the society's definition of beauty.

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2011-03-30T07:03:00.001+08:00

-reminds myself to delete the previous post-

I guess u lived with mine as well (:

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2011-03-29T16:36:00.001+08:00

My memory 's gonna be my biggest bane

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face it, everyone wears a mask

2011-03-29T15:33:00.001+08:00

I gave up trying to find one who doesn't. Hard truths of life

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I know the goal

2011-03-20T10:39:00.001+08:00

I see the amount of training needed.
Will I be able to keep this up?

Mental resilience, physical stamina and discipline... I know I'll thank a levels several years down the road but that's definitely not today

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2011-03-20T10:13:00.001+08:00

Well come to the dog's year, its just gonna get worse

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2011-03-17T18:48:00.001+08:00

Why am I so bothered by this...
Should I speak my mind because I don't wanna to have any suppressed feelings which may snowball or should I be more tactful.

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2011-03-17T14:57:00.001+08:00

LOLs i went to my room to study because the mess in my study room is unbearable. After just 3 days my room is in the same state as my study room... (I have a lot of cleaning up to do after CTs)

2011-03-16T22:15:00.001+08:00

Ok nvm, I guess I'm fortunate to be one of the lucky ones. Shallnt complain, chiong arhhh! Less than a year to go

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2011-03-16T21:39:00.001+08:00

This is worse than doing pw. At least for pw u know that all ur hardworking will be recognised and reflected... ohhh and all the random out-of-the topic msn convos too. At least I had fun doing it :x can't say the same for now...

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2011-03-16T10:50:00.001+08:00

Gladly pay to increase my brain capacity from 10kb to 10gb, I'm not asking for much ain't I?

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one day ur gonna look back and say, dam I miss this

2011-03-15T22:12:00.001+08:00

Just like obs, pw and prolly ns next time, this is just one of those defining chapters of one's life.

Perseverance and hardwork prevail at the end of the day, of cos u would need a whole lot of luck too. Makes one wish that the Felix potion is possible irl.

Push on, for the rainbow after the worst of storms is the prettiest -pw quote

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2011-03-13T08:46:00.001+08:00

My brain is wired so differently that it annoys me. 2 out of 5 questions I had careless mistakes, 2 out of 5 questions I used a different method and cant get the right ans. I can only get 1 out of 5 questions right. Fml

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before I turn in for the night

2011-03-12T00:15:00.001+08:00

One day I'll miss u. I know u will too. Just to let u know if teleportation is a reality, I would learn it no matter the hardships ^^

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2011-03-11T22:39:00.001+08:00

I always thought there's tearing cos ur laughing and laughing cos ur tearing. Never thought there's a third one. Laughing and tearing when u don't feel like doing either. I think I went temporarily mad just now

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(: action speak louder than words

2011-03-10T19:47:00.001+08:00

Made a promise to myself. Let's see if I can honour my words. I realised how little time we have left. Shall make this a great memory, one that we can talk about decades down the road (:

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2011-03-07T23:03:00.001+08:00

i need a rest (:

1.5 hours more and thats it.

-needs to brush up on voicing out my own opinions (and structuring them well)-

2011-03-03T00:15:00.001+08:00

I guess my intention was good (: grrr I know I suck at complimenting xP

-needs to learn how to sound sincere, instead of flatterish-

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to the few important ones (:

2011-02-26T23:14:00.002+08:00

Just remember that I still care as much as before

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emo dumpground

2011-02-22T00:17:00.001+08:00

Is it part of human nature, to have that lil feeling of goodness when u see others falling behind, yet at the same time u can't help but feeling jealous at other's success? We humans are a competitive species.

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2011-02-21T01:18:00.001+08:00

(: Lols I think this blog is my garbage dump for rants. After I've cooled down I would look back and delete the post. U'll be lucky to see some rants here, cos the next day it would be gone. I don't stay pissed for very long, partially because I believe that everyone should be given a chance, unless its evident that its not gonna change. Also, partially because it would be my fault too, wouldn't have a quarrel if I've not done anything wrong. Takes 2 hands to clap yo.
On the other hand, its getting harder to remain the bubbly and forever happy me with no temper. One of the reasons being the stress from school. Also, I don't wanna feel like being a doormat....

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im sleeping after this

2011-02-19T00:54:00.001+08:00

Today is a happy day, somewhat (:
Realised some of the stuff that I'm upset about is actually due to my own attitude.

Somehow I feel that our friendship is going deeper and stronger. So much so that I'm beginning to fear losing u after A's. Weird huh, the feeling of being confident yet uncertain.

On the bright side, Britney's hold it against me mv is finally out. I love how her mv told her showbiz story. Comeon people, who doesn't make mistakes? Anyway the mv speaks to me, life has it's ups and downs. Its not about how high u can climb, its about how far are you willing to try to pick urself up after a fall from that height.

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2011-02-16T00:12:00.001+08:00

No, period.

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birds of a feather flock together

2011-02-15T16:45:00.001+08:00

Didnt know u are planning to major in business too. See you when im out of NS, hopefully we'll be in the same class. Timing's just right ^^

can't believe I'm gonna be single for 3 more valentines

2011-02-13T19:16:00.001+08:00

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2011-02-11T22:25:00.001+08:00

Let it burn, it reminds me of the fun that we had today.

-new stuff today too. Not too shocked surprisingly, guess I became more ok towards stuff now? A bit of everything, not excessive. Just like alcohol.

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Guys are guys afterall

2011-02-10T00:50:00.001+08:00

It just leaves me helpless at times, not knowing what to do when girls are ranting. Although I know they just want to rant, one have to fight off the constant impulse to say what one thinks is right. And sometimes it just leaves me unsure of what to do, can't bear to see them in that state.

Things are so much easier with guys. Nothing that a 'bros before hoes' can't solve.

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一朝被蛇咬十年怕井绳

2011-02-08T23:34:00.001+08:00

Will the end be the same? Now I know why we are daring and spontaneous when we are young. We just haven't experienced life much yet.

How many times can one treat others with 100% sincerety and get nothing in return? (or maybe I was expecting too much). Guess life moves on (:

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Staying up every night just to read the latest chapter

2011-02-06T23:31:00.001+08:00

Come on just update already. I want to sleep. Gotta compliment this guy though, this novel has been ongoing for 5 years.

-one day you will be back and you know it (:

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Haha

2011-02-05T22:30:00.001+08:00

Its dam weird to see your ex crush crushing people among your social circle.

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When you start to question

2011-01-27T00:32:00.001+08:00

The rightness of your decision, no matter how justified it may seem.

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..

2011-01-24T22:43:00.001+08:00

Why am I using the mood detector on my phone to determine my emotions now? Because I'm not too sure of what I'm feeling either...

Nvm biooooo

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self control

2011-01-24T00:31:00.001+08:00

I feel guilty ><

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